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I STARTED my research on young sugar babies with an account on Seeking Arrangement, a sugar daddy website that makes US$10 million (RM36 million) a year. Business is booming, obviously!

Minutes later, I was officially a sugar baby for sale, (price: negotiable). Within a day, I had two messages from sugar daddies, each boasting a net worth of US$1 million (RM3.6 million).

The money-for-companionship aspect of this arrangement is super in-your-face – sugar babies state a price range, and sugar daddies advertise their annual income. The lowest I saw was a cool US$75,000 (RM271,000).

My sugar baby account was a success (if you could call it that), with 13 men over the past month offering me all sorts of awesome perks like free holidays and “the pampering of your life”, though I’m not really sure I wanna know what that entails.

RELATED STORY: Inside the online world of Malaysian sugar babies

My sugar daddy account, however, was a total flop. You are only given 10 free messages, and I couldn’t advertise my phone number or email. I messaged 10 sugar babies, with no reply.

BTW..That’s how the site makes money – sugar daddies/mommies have to pay up to access the site’s full features.
Slightly disheartened, I moved on to local online classifieds websites.

It was depressing.

The sheer number of women advertising themselves the way one would a car or garden furniture was mind-boggling to say the least.

And, again, money was at the forefront of the sugar babies’ minds. Some advertisements came with a warning: “If you cannot afford RM5,000, don’t send me a message.”

Obviously, I still sent them messages via the classifieds’ internal messaging system. I had a story to write, okay?

Now, these sugar babies clearly know what they’re doing. They ask all kinds of questions – “How much do you make?”, “What do you do for a living?”, “Where do you live?” and so on – before agreeing to give out their personal phone numbers.

Clearly, they wanted to gauge how legit I was, and how rich I really was.

RELATED STORY: Our exclusive interview with SeekingArrangement.com founder Brandon Wade on how he got into the sugar daddy business

I suppose I failed their tests, as I didn’t manage to get a lot of numbers as a sugar daddy.

I had a bit more luck posing as a sugar mommy. I guess men are more forthcoming, as one answered many of my questions without asking about my pay slip, and he even gave me a pretty good price of RM400 a month.

That’s right folks, I could’ve had my own sugar baby at RM400 a month – and he looked pretty good in his photos!

After weeks of trawling the seedier end of Malaysian Internet, I emerged slightly battered by the bombardment of what is essentially sex for hire.

All the sugar babies and daddies I interviewed deny that this arrangement is prostitution, and I do understand where they’re coming from.
But coming from a background where sex is closely related to love, I don’t think I will be looking for a sugar daddy, ever. Not even with the lure of the pampering of my life.

About

Literature grad-turned-journalist who loves our R.AGE team karaoke nights a little too much. While her literature background has left her with a slightly twisted sense of humour, it has also given her a passion for writing on social issues.

  • Wazabo

    Funny how prostitution is considered something trivial in a country where drug dealers are executed.If having someone much older than you PAY ACTUAL MONEY for your lifestyle,food and sex (where applicable) is not considered prostitution then what is? This country truly funny hahahahahahaha.

    • Danny

      Some of us clearly are paying for our partners lifestyle and companionship. In real world they are called as gf/bf or spouses. And usually sex is involved as well. So is my wife a prostitute for latching on to me for me to provide for her? Its merely formalities… Look pass all this, at the end of the day everyone is looking after their own self interests…. And if there are good feelings(love) involved… Well its a bonus.

    • Sarah

      I’m confused at your statement…are you saying that prostitution is worse of a crime when compared to drug dealing??

      Personally, this string of “prostitution” doesn’t actually ruin lives, and if any life is ruined, it’s the life of the person providing the service. Whereas drug dealing ruin the lives of the people the drug is being pushed on to…

      But then I again I could be mistaken to what your comment means…

    • Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment.If there is no sexual relation,then it is not prostitution.

    • Yeehaa

      Isnt that what guys do when they are married? Its not prostitution if you know each other basically.

    • Ian Yee

      Wazabo: I get what you’re tryna say, but it’s unfair to use drug dealing as a comparison. In any case, prostitution IS illegal in Malaysia. Only issue is whether you would consider sugar babying prostitution, and if so, how would you enforce the law on them.

  • Whimsical

    Hmm. Funny how you jumped to the conclusion that prostitution is considered trivial in this country. How the handful of citizens (benefit of doubt given to that they are not illegals) choose to behave surely are not representative of the country? Weird.

  • Sethan

    Well if a person consider this is fun or attention seeking or might it be thrill seeking, so be it. A human can stoop to however low they want as long as they do not hurt others. Obviously nothing is free in this world and they just have to face the consequences, thats all.

  • I agree with what Danny mentioned – husband / wife / partner / gf / bf are all terms of formality. Sex, money and maybe love is involved.. Love is in itself a fluid emotion that has its highs and lows, and sometimes reduced to a mere sense of obligation and commitment with no passion remaining.

    To the credit of the writer, May Lee was not too judgemental of the arrangements, but merely stating her stance.

    For those who have been cheated, lead on, played out, you would have understood that the need for sex is as biological as the need for money is for survival… and appreciate the honest transaction between a willing buyer and seller..

    And just like a rose by any other name, a sugar baby will smell just as sweet..

    Jerry

  • KC Chai

    Beware of con artists who posted themselves in these websites! Those who signed up are all strangers to you and you can never tell whether the one you choose is real or just out to harm you!

  • jase quah

    Sugar babies… I thought they were a type of candy. I am not judgemental. As long as you know the consequences and don’t whinge when you end up with the short end of the stick. I maybe old fashioned but I will stick to getting a girlfriend.

  • To think about how this country has changed for the past 20 years… I grew up in a village background having received education and moving to the city. Knowing that sex out of marriage is totally wrong and that you’ll get kicked out from the house for getting yourself involved with such ‘immoral fornication’. Nowadays, we see this “booming” industries of women and men being sugar babies…

    If there is one thing that I would like to raise up is the fact chastity is a word so rare in younger generation’s dictionary nowadays, where compromise has lurked in to the mentality of people to the point that “relationship-which-also-includes-sex” while being paid for is acceptable and ‘justified’.

    You can’t justify a crime with some good ol’ excuses of “my wife doesn’t satisfy me well therefore I have the right to find younger women to satisfy my perverseness” OR “I am an older women who has a husband that doesn’t have time for me thus, I find it appropriate to find younger men to help them financially in exchange for something I also need…”

    Seriously, I have respect for the undercover works that is being done to expose such activities that are creeping in out society… Keep up with the good work!

    • I’m absolutely agree with Albrecht Patrick!

      “Chastity” will be a lost word in current and next generation. Our community had been too focus on Capitalism and leads to realistic behavior rises within people.

      Although I’m very respecting the undercover work which exposing the “truth”, but at the same time such topic becomes so common and yet younger generation will perceived it in such a way that “Now I know how I survive through financial challenge … …”

      Ultimately, I wish everyone can stick back to traditional mentality and spirit, especially having own principle that hold highest respect from others rather than monetary worship.

      Just my two cents.
      Jay

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