HOW do you feel now?”

“Strangely … happier,” I answered my classmate as we both ate ice cream in the dining hall.

“Told you so,” was his reply.

A week ago, I was racing against time to finish up my final draft for an essay. In the silence of my room, my wristwatch was menacingly ticking away. I glanced at the watch and realised I only had an hour before my deadline.

Don’t get me wrong, I never resort to completing my work an hour before I have to hand it in. In fact, I was polishing up my work, requesting peer reviews and checking for grammatical errors. I was merely adding an additional paragraph that I deemed vital to obtain the ever elusive “A” grade.

Han Hau Sen enjoying his ice cream.

So why does it feel so stressful? My work is almost done and yet, I feel as if I am suffocating from the air I breathe. There could only be one explanation: The List. The List contains everything that I dread doing, not because they’re boring, but of the dates that are attached to each item on it – I have only crossed the first out of 15 items.

The List was filled with scribblings like “Study pages 1-84 of East Asian Civilisation”, “Decipher 18 poems by tomorrow”, “Read the Daily Nebraskan and Lincoln Journal Star (local newspapers in Nebraska) every day for journalism class” and “Meet student advisor to discuss the transfer of credit”.

More often than not, I draw parallels between The List and the serpentine beast from Greek mythology, Hydra. The Hydra had nine heads and for each head that was severed, two would grow back instantly.

Similarly, The List grows at an alarming rate despite me eliminating out items on it. It was such an excruciating thought that lingered on the back of my head: Will this ever end?

I despise it, but I can’t live without it. Back in Malaysia, there was never such a thing. I boldly admit that I occasionally procrastinate when I was studying in college. Nonetheless, I still managed to complete my assignments on time and ace my subjects. I had a social life and enjoyed going to the movies with my best mate. Life was pretty easy back then.

All that changed after I set foot in Lincoln. I adapted to my surroundings easily, though I have yet to embrace the pace of the American education system. What shocked me the most was that the students are able to party and play while maintaining their grades. It was insane!

In addition, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (where I’m currently enrolled) hosts American football games in their huge stadium almost every weekend during football season. Students with tickets would head towards the stadium to watch the game or, if they don’t have tickets, they would crowd around a television to watch the UNL Huskers, our home team, score a touchdown.

Two things I find amusing about this.

Firstly, this is the only time in Lincoln where the whole town would be filled with people in red and parking lots which are usually empty all-year-round are brimming with sedans.

Secondly, and more importantly: Don’t the students ever have homework to do? I’m always flabbergasted over the fact that most of the American students do not fret about their assignments and projects as much as I do.

My weekends are filled with assignments to be completed and yet, my dorm mates have time to go shopping on Sunday! Despite my constant complaints and occasional mood swings, I must say that I’ve become a far more efficient scholar than I was back home. I remember my mother couldn’t even coax me to read the newspaper for a mere fifteen minutes; my attention span was that short.

University of Nebraska-Lincoln student Han Hau Sen's school books some times leaves him pretty stressed out.

Now, I would often be seen walking with a stack of newspapers, my eyes glued to the headlines that stretch across the front page of The New York Times. I try to absorb as much information as I can and not just flip through the contents of the entertainment section. Interestingly, the person who’s sitting right next to me now in the computer lab is doing just that.

Yes, the competition here is tougher and you do feel the mounting pressure to excel. So whenever the going gets tough, I wouldn’t ask the tough to get going just yet.

Instead, stop by the dining hall and grab an ice cream. While you’re at it, why not coat it with a layer of hot chocolate fudge?

After five minutes of indulging in pure sin, go back to your work knowing that you’ve just gained five pounds and you’re happy about it. If it’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that you’re never as productive as you are when you’re all worked up. So take a break!

A classmate who saw me depressed one afternoon told me that I study and worry too much. I simply replied that I had to because otherwise, I wouldn’t get the grades I desired.

Then he said: “At least have some ice cream then. That somehow brightens my day.”

And so I did.