Wouldn't YOU try some crazy, completely unscientific myth to be able to walk blister-free in these babies?

By VIVY YUSOF
alltherage@thestar.com.my

THE last person you’d expect lie to you is your mother.

“Of course you will grow taller, sweetheart,” my mom would say, with sympathetic eyes followed by some loving hair-stroking. It’s been years since, and I am still seeing the world at the same level I did.

So I found a pair of twins who fast became my most loved possessions – high heels. Not the two-inch kitten ones. Those never tickled my fancy. I’m talking about the five-inch stiletto heels that my feet basically live in.
Having enough of them to make all the flats out there feel left out, I’d say my heels collection is pretty impressive. Colour-coded and arranged by height, I take good care of them by wiping them and airing them from time to time.
One downside of course is the blistering. I know all about heels, and I also know all about its best friend, blisters. The blisters on my feet all have stories to tell and I have long crossed “Foot Model” off my potential careers list.
So you know what I do when I come home with new shoe boxes? I lock the doors and I do what I hope no one sees me doing. I bite my shoes. Not the mouse-nibbling-on-cheese bite. I mean, the chicken burger kind of shark-bite.
Come on, you’ve heard that myth before, right? Many people will tell you this – bite your shoes first before they bite you. It’s an Asian myth, according to some online. Either we Asians have a really good sense of humour, or we really are geniuses.
I was reluctant at first, but I realised I had nothing to lose (except a bit of dignity if seen doing it). It wouldn’t kill me and my toes were looking rather miserable, so what the heck? I bit. It worked. No blisters. Very odd.

Vivy and her favourite bedroom snack. That's not crazy at all.... Right?

I decided to ask my friends by posting a Facebook question about this myth. To my delight, about 90% of those who replied believe it and they, too, bite their shoes behind closed doors. Some hammer them. Some even apologise to the shoes and caress them before they bite with guilt.
So you see, dear readers, it is a pretty universal myth that a lot of women swear by. We’ll just conveniently ignore that one guy who wrote “Women are crazy” in the comments.
Women want to look and feel good. Plus, cheating to get 5 extra inches is not a crime. So what if we go to great lengths to strut a pair of gorgeous, sky-high heels? We could go a half size up or down, but not a lot of brands do half-sizes so we make do with what’s out there in stores.
Of course there is no science or logic that can prove this myth. And in no way am I trying to prove it. It is all just a matter of preference. Some feel better when they bite sandwiches. Some feel better when they bite the back of their heels.

These gorgeous heels might seem pretty harmless, but you gotta bite 'em before they bite you.

At the end of the day, the key is to find the right size and the right fit. If they hurt too much, it’s time to do your feet a favour and give those shoes away.
Or if you cannot sleep at night thinking about parting with them, here are some tips. After doing a bit more research, there are other non-superstitious ways of combating painful blisters. Some that I found – put wax on the back of heel, put duct tape, slap on some Vaseline, wear socks, send the shoes to the cobbler to stretch them, stuff tissues if they’re too big, sandpaper the back heel part to soften it, wear them around the house to break into them, and lastly, a very odd tip from someone who shall remain anonymous – sing to them so they relax.
Wow. Maybe we woman really are crazy.