By KEVIN TAN
alltherage@thestar.com.my

JUST because he looked a little different from his classmates, Timothy Tiah, 29, co-founder of social advertising giant Nuffnang, was constantly teased back when he was in secondary school.

Tiah was diagnosed with ptosis, a condition that causes a person’s eyelid to droop or fall completely, at an early age. As it was feared the condition would worsen, Tiah had surgery when he was three to correct it.

“Despite the surgery, my left eye was still smaller,” said Tiah. And that was all his classmates in school needed to make him the butt of all their jokes.

Being singled out just because he was different had a huge effect on his confidence, and it caused him to develop something of a rebellious streak.

“The bullying made me have this need to take my frustrations out on someone, somewhere. Unfortunately, it was my parents on the receiving end.

“I would rebel against them, and I even blamed them for having me born the way I was,” he said.

After learning an exercise recommended by a doctor to help stretch his eye muscles, his condition improved gradually. His confidence picked up, and even his grades improved.

“People can call you all sorts of things, but only the truth hurts,” he said.

That wasn’t the end of Tiah’s experiences with bullying, though. When he and his wife Audrey Ooi (who owns popular fashion blog fourfeetnine.com) were expecting their first child, many “haters” posted nasty comments on her blog and social media, saying things like “I will pray for your baby’s soul”.

Ooi had been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, which often creates complications during childbirth.

As social media entrepreneurs, Tiah and Ooi have always known how vicious online bullying can get. But this, this was personal.

“There was actually a chance my baby could die. It was the truth, and it hurt. I was prepared for the possibility of us not ever having children, but these (haters) just weren’t helping,” said Tiah.

Against all odds, their very first child was born, despite a host of complications throughout the pregnancy – including preeclampsia and a premature delivery at 28 weeks.
From then on, Tiah and Ooi’s resolve to not let the words of cyberbullies affect them grew even stronger.

“It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters,” said Tiah.

Tiah is also determined to never get sucked into the culture of teasing someone just because they’re different.

“I just don’t make fun of them because I relate to (their struggles). I know how it feels,” he said. “Mental bullying is more painful than physical bullying, which doesn’t happen as much now because if you hit someone, it’s clear to everyone you’re being a bully.”

If you’ve been a victim of bullying, or you want to support the campaign against bullying, go to RAGEAgainstBullying.com. R.AGE Against Bullying is supported by UNICEF, Befrienders, Childline Malaysia, Help International School, StarRFM and Churp Churp. YES is the
telco sponsor.