Najihatul’s #RAGEAgainstBullying photo pledge. You can post yours on Instagram too! All you need is a plaster and a message.

By NAJIHATUL AULAA JALIDAR

PEOPLE who know me these days would probably be surprised to know I was bullied several times when I was a child and teenager. It wasn’t brutal – I wasn’t physically hurt except on a few occasions – but it wasn’t pleasant either.

My first experience being bullied was when I was in kindergarten. I was bullied by a boy in my class. It wasn’t the childish “I bullied her because I like her” kind of thing. He would keep saying mean things to me until I cried and would threaten me until I was too scared to tell our teacher.

My second experience was in the first grade. I was a timid girl and did not know how to make friends, being an only child who did not go out to play much. When a girl asked me once to play with her and her friends, I was ecstatic. Finally, somebody who wanted to be my friend!

As you might have guessed, I ended up being bullied by her. She would take any piece of my stationery that she fancied, get angry if I didn’t do whatever she told me to, and pinch or slap me if I did something that did not please her.

The thing is, I was too timid to speak up, too scared to fight back. My mother was angry at her for bullying me, and angry at me for not fighting back. I was so afraid of losing a friend that I let her do whatever she wanted. The process of getting to know new people and making new friends started to seem so dreadful to me.

Even now, I still have problems making new friends. I was often bullied for my lack of social skills. At one point I was told by a group of peers that they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I was sad for a while, but then I thought, “so what?” They liked to talk about each other behind their backs anyway, and I didn’t need all that. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my moment of empowerment.

I realised that if someone was a real friend, he or she would be more considerate. They wouldn’t bully you in any way, shape or form – and believe me, they all hurt equally as much. I mean, have you ever watched the movie Mean Girls? To be accepted into a social group feels great. You feel a sense of belonging and I get that, especially for teenagers. I was once a wannabe too, though I ditched that after I realised it didn’t really make me happy after all.

But I found several friends who stuck around, even after all these years. They’re not a whole lot of them, because I’m not much of a keep-in-touch kind of person, but it’s good to know you have friends who will be there for you. And I’ve learned that it is fun getting to know new people who’re different – even if some of them might seem a bit weird to you at first.

In any case, you have to ask yourself – that friend who makes life difficult for you, will he or she still be there for you in five or ten years’ time?

Whatever your age, you shouldn’t have to feel pressured or bullied to act in a certain manner to be accepted. You should be you, and real friends should accept you for who you are.

* If you have a story about bullying you want to share with us, drop us an email at alltherage@thestar.com.my. You can also pledge your support for our R.AGE Against Bullying campaign by going to RAGEAgainstBullying.com.