IF you have been following my tweets (you’d better be!), you would know that I was in Penang recently.

I was there for Thaipusam, and uggh, I don’t want to talk about that. I’m still traumatised.

My family (and my Twitter followers) had to suffer through my constant complaints about the hot weather, inconsiderate public and litterbugs on the island.

But the one thing I didn’t complain about was the abundant food everywhere.

I grabbed every opportunity I got to enjoy the delicious and cheap food in Penang; thus my many trips to nasi kandar restaurants — even at 2am!

All that food consumed in greed was bound to find its way to its rightful place, my hips. And now, I’m desperately trying to get rid of the excess fat, on top of the excess fat I’ve been carrying around all my life.

So, where do I turn? To my faithful and reliable celebrity friends who are experts at maintaining their slender figures and hot bodies.

I knew I could always count on them in times of need!

Remember Britney Spears pre-Circus? Well, she was ermm…a bit on the plump side, and the whole world (except for me) made fun of her.

Left: Pre-Circus; Right: Post-Circus

Then, she came to her senses. She started on a diet regime, and eventually regained her tight and fit body. And now, she’s definitely one hot mama. Okay, she does look like a man from certain angles, but that’s not the point here.

Anyway, the first thing she did was to swap sweetened caffeine for lean protein. I’m pretty sure you remember all her frequent runs to a famous coffeehouse franchise to get her favourite latte! We sure do have many paparazzi shots of that.

In an interview with OK magazine, Britney revealed that she made friends with lean chicken, turkey burgers and fish, thus increasing the intake of lower glycemic index foods. Unfortunately, that meant Britney had to cut out fruits because of the sugar, though not for long. Britney is able to have fresh fruits again, once she hit her target goal.

Britney also revealed that she sticks to a 1,200-calories-per-day diet that is high in nutrition. Though some experts said that the amount of calories Britney consumed daily was pretty low, others said that it’s the right amount to stick to if one wishes to lose some extra baggage.

Errm, does that mean I have to stop having roti canai and fried chicken for breakfast?

The Hills alum Lauren Conrad maintains her amazing figure by following her trainer, Jarrett Del Bene’s celebrity diet plan. (Apparently, Jarrett’s diet is one of the most searched diet plans now.)

LC has a great figure, thanks to her trainer!

He advises Lauren to consume about 1,500 calories a day in six small meals, which helps to keep her appetite down and her metabolism up.

News is that if we were to sneak a peek into Lauren’s refrigerator, we would find items such as raw vegetables, lean meats, egg whites, fresh fruits, almonds and walnuts, peanut butter and oatmeal.

Keeping track of her food consumption helps country singer Carrie Underwood maintain her svelte and healthy figure. Carrie was a little curvier when we first saw her on television, but the American Sweetheart transformed into a fit and lean woman right in front of our eyes.

She did this by exercising and keeping a diet journal.

The vegetarian records every morsel of food she puts into her mouth in her journal. According to experts, keeping a diet journal is a great way to keep track of your calories.

The country singer also makes it hard for herself to get junk food, thus limiting the temptation of binging on them. So yes, the next time you’re at Carrie’s house, don’t expect a drawerful of chocolates and chips to greet you.

Getting older hasn’t allowed Jennifer Aniston and Madonna to slack off when it comes to their figures.

You don't have be young to look good!

Jennifer, who turned 41 recently, stays slim by eating meals consisting of 40% carbohydrates, 30% protein and 30% fat.

She gets balanced meals with food like whole grains, fish, chicken and nuts.

Madonna on the other hand, is a little stricter with her food. More than half a century old, the singer takes only all natural foods (that means no cheeseburgers or even fries to go with that), and says no to alcohol and caffeine.

The singer reportedly eats whole grains in the morning and stays full by chowing down on lean protein and vegetables later in the day. Madonna also cuts out spices, claiming that it’ll mess up her digestive systems and cause her to bloat.

Wow, that’s a lot of food that Madonna doesn’t eat. Is that why she always looks so unhappy? Well, I don’t mind being unhappy if it means I’m fit and filthy rich and famous worldwide.

On second thought, I take that back.

Sharm says: R.AGE does not endorse any of these diet plans. Please consult your physician before attempting to start any type of diet. Here’s to a slimmer and fitter us, yeay!