FOR the past two weeks, I have been reading many stories about Lindsay Lohan (who hasn’t, really?) and the one question that keeps popping into my head is this: Where the heck is her mum?

Like, seriously.

Dina Lohan, also known as the “White Oprah”, was once a constant figure in every paparazzi shot of Lindsay and now the woman is nowhere to be found.

Dina and her crazy ex-husband Michael skipped many of Lindsay’s court hearings (which ones, you ask? Well, I lost count.) and were not by their troubled daughter’s side when she needed them the most.

They are also nowhere to be found as 25-year-old Lindsay publicly tries to battle her drug and alcohol addiction and keep herself away from another stint in prison.

Where in the world is Dina Lohan? While some speculate that she’s busy trying to ruin her other daughter’s (Lindsay’s younger sister, Aliana) life by promising her a career in the entertainment industry and then skip town when it crashes, others have different theories.

Some say that Lindsay wisened up and kicked her enabler mum out of her life, while others claim that Dina is giving Lindsay the breathing space she requested.

Well, it is no secret that the world thinks that Dina is the reason behind Lindsay’s downfall. Okay, maybe that’s a harsh statement, but there is some truth in that.

There are so many documented evidence of the mother letting the child go wild, allowing her to bring her career to a crash when it should be soaring high like that of her peers, namely, Disney nemesis Hilary Duff.

Not only is 24-year-old Hilary a successful actress, she is also (still) happily married, has a multi-million dollar empire and more importantly, doesn’t have an impending jail sentence looming over her head.

It is quite sad to note that Lindsay didn’t luck out in the parent pool as her father, Michael, is just as crazy as her mother.

Ugh, where does one even begin to tell the story of Michael Lohan? Bottom line is, he is one heck of a creep (according to online reports, of course). Michael is always around to talk about Lindsay and her mother to the media but he is never by their side … erm, maybe Dina’s restraining order against him has something to do with that but you get what I mean.

Maybe he’ll disappear off the radar, just like the other creepy celebrity dads. They always do.

Take, for example, Joe Simpson.

The world knew just how “special” Joe was when he spoke about his daughter Jessica’s big breasts to GQ magazine in 1994 and we have yet to let him forget what he said.

If you don’t remember that infamous quote, well here it is: “Jessica never tries to be sexy … she just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

Weird dad alert! Everyone found it freaky that he was always hovering over Jessica’s personal and public life, and many blamed him for the divorce between his eldest daughter and her then-husband Nick Lachey.

Joe also tried to shove his younger daughter Ashlee down our throats when Jessica became less bankable; that didn’t work out too well either.

One father who banked on his daughter more than he needed to was none other than Matthew Knowles, the dad of one of the most successful singers in the world – Beyonce.

It is true that Matthew was the guy who brought his daughter and her Destiny’s Child group mates Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams (and the few others before that) out of obscurity. But it also cannot be denied that it was the girls’ talents that got them further than what Matthew foresaw.

So after Destiny’s Child disbanded, Kelly fired her long-time manager, Matthew, and accussed him of misappropriation. Nobody believed her and thought that she was acting out of jealousy over Beyonce’s unprecedented success.

A few years later, when news broke that Matthew had fathered a love child while still married to Beyonce’s mother, people realised that he may not be the goody-two-shoe man he has always been depicted as, after all.

Earlier this year, Beyonce made a shocking announcement that she’s dropping her father as her manager. Rumour has it that Matthew had been siphoning money out of his Beyonce’s account.

Tsk, tsk. Bad father! Now if only he too will drop off the radar soon.

Sharm says: Some parents need to learn not to steal the spotlight from their offspring.

I AM pretty sure that everyone is up to their necks with stories about the latest Kardashian wedding – Kimberly’s to be precise. From the day the news of her engagement to professional basketball player Kris Humphries broke, stories about her wedding have been shoved down our throats almost daily.
Not that we are complaining. We like that bunch … most of the time.
Details about the wedding kept pouring in and soon enough, everybody knew what cake Kim was getting, which designer was making her wedding gown, what she put in her wedding registry, the extended guestlist and almost everything else.
While the Kardashians’ TV home – E! – tried to keep everything under wraps, as they want to lure viewers to watch the ceremony on the channel in October, details of her wedding kept popping up.
According to sources, the leaks were made on purpose as part of the deals made by Kim’s “momager” Kris Jenner with the respective businesses.
Kris is no ordinary business woman, you know. She helped the Kardashian family make RM193mil last year and that savvy lady knows just how to get the moolah flowing in.
A mere association with Kim (and the rest of the Kardashian clan) means more clientele for businesses, and Kris got them to look at this wedding as an opportunity to advertise their goods.
Reports have it that the leaks have helped the businesses earn more money in the last two months than they ever did before.
While most couples break the bank just to plan a moderate wedding, Kim and Humphries actually made money off theirs (all thanks to Kris’ clever business deals, of course).
(Warning: If you’re the jealous type and are in the middle of planning a wedding you cannot afford … you may not want to read what comes after this.)
Kim and Humphries and the rest of the Kardashians reportedly did not spend much money but instead made over RM53.2mil from the wedding ceremony-turned-media extravaganza!
The clan is getting the biggest payout from the two-part TV spectacular called Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event, which will earn them between RM35.6mil and RM44.5mil.
They also made another RM7.4mil by selling the exclusive wedding photo rights to People magazine which will hit news stands soon.
Kim also saved a lot of money by getting her three Vera Wang gowns (worth almost RM45,000 each), a 10-tiered wedding cake (worth RM45,000), RM1.2mil worth of champagnes and RM5.9mil flower arrangements for free.
Rumour has it that the actual cost of this wedding could reach up to RM59.4mil, making it one of the most expensive weddings of all time.
Well, Kim is not the first celebrity to make money off her wedding and we know that there were many before her. Now let’s take a look at the other celebrity brides and grooms who got paid to televise their weddings (and those who used them to pay for their divorce lawyers later).
Sharm says: Wow, with all that amount of money that went into the wedding, let’s hope that Kim and Humphries stay together forever … or at least long enough for the ‘sponsors’ to recoup the money they spent.