I AM 17 years old and recently sat for my SPM. I was in a relationship with H few years back and it only lasted for about three months. I continued loving and caring for him even after he left me without saying anything.

 My love towards him grew even more when I was no longer in touch with him.

 I started contacting him via Facebook since he changed his phone number after we broke up and I couldn’t call him anymore.

 Soon after that, H got in touch with M, who is a close friend of mine. He often calls and texts her. One day, he professed his love for her!

 M told him that she does not wish to date any of her friends’ ex-boyfriends, but she does not mind being friends. They kept contacting one another as if they were in a relationship, but M stood by her decision.

 A while later, M stopped talking to H. And after all that, H is now texting me again like how he used to do two years back. He often calls me and we talk for hours on the phone. A month later, he told me that he loved me again.

 I am really confused – should I believe him and give him a second chance? I still love him very much. — Sadlilprincess

 Is it worth it?

 The words you use to describe the situation are very strong. From this situation you can begin to understand how powerful feelings are, and how arresting they can be. Part of maturing in relationships is to manage them; if you don’t, you’ll be in a whirlwind.

 So, take a step back and look at things clearly – is all this worth your effort? Don’t forget the other parts of your life that you’re cultivating – your interests, family and friends. Make sure all these other elements are being looked after as well. Don’t let a guy that once left you, and who is now trying to get back with you, rule your heart and mind when you’re worth much more than that.

 My advice is, cool it off. If you’re confused, then make it clear to him – you’d rather keep things simple. Make him respect that. If he does, then he’ll make things easier on you instead of making things difficult and confusing.

 Focus on your studies, and the other things you have on your plate. In time, you’ll realise that life shouldn’t be about one guy, but about concentrating on other things as well. — Rusyan

 More in store for you

 The way H moved from you to your friend and then back to you says a lot about how carelessly he treats people who are supposed to be important to him, and should be a big enough warning to not let him too close.

 You have been carrying a torch for H for two years now, even after he broke up with you without much of an explanation and decided to pursue your friend. That is too long a time to spend pining for someone who behaved so selfishly at your expense!

 At this point, the issue isn’t so much about believing if he loves you than it is about realising that you owe it to yourself to move on from him. Whether or not he loves you is irrelevant. Whether or not you love him should likewise become irrelevant.

 Do remain friends with him if you appreciate his company, but let him know that you have no plans to let him take advantage of your feelings again.

 Be strong and don’t let him mess with you. The year after SPM is rife with opportunities and new experiences such as college, travel, new friends and work experience – seize these opportunities! Much fun is to be had in the coming year, so don’t spend it looking back on H and what could have been. — Su Ann

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