By NASA MARIA ENTABAN

AMIR realises he has forgotten his wallet at home minutes into the interview.

This does not upset him or cause him to panic, as he has grown used to discovering, throughout the day, that he has forgotten something.

He explains that he loves puzzles, and reveals that he does not read books from beginning to end, instead, he starts at the end, and then pieces the plot together by reading other sections of the book.

“Numbers and puzzles give me focus,” says Amir (not his real name) who can spend hours completing one Sudoku puzzle after another and reading comics, and often doesn’t realise hours have passed since he begun his activity.

While Amir may seem completely normal, he actually has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD, and went through most of his life not realising it, having only been diagnosed recently.

“I wouldn’t say I’m different, rather, I’m indifferent. I don’t look for social acknowledgement. I don’t subscribe to social norms, unless there’s something in it for me,” says the 29-year-old strategic planner.

“Like cycling, I cycle with other people because of the safety in numbers, not for the company,” he adds.

ADHD or ADD is a disorder which often goes undiagnosed in many children as it can often be seen as merely naughty behaviour or indiscipline.

People with ADHD/ADD often find it hard to focus on, plan or complete activities or projects, even more so if they do not interest them. Posed by models

Often, these children go into adulthood not understanding why their minds function differently from their peers’, why they aren’t able to adapt to social situations or why they can’t seem to focus on one thing long enough to complete the acticity or project.

Clinical psychologist Adlin Abdul Hamid, who treats and trains children and youths to manage ADHD/ADD and dyslexia, understands what her patients go through as she, too, has ADHD and is dyslexic.

The 31-year-old cycling enthusiast went into psychology because she wanted to understand how the human mind works.

She has, over the years, trained herself to manage her condition.

“I knew there was something ‘not right’ in my head because I had trouble concentrating. I had to work much harder than my siblings. I never understood why!” she says laughing.

“I started seeing a lot of kids, and seeing the same symptoms in them that I had,” says Adlin, who uses a timer to make sure she doesn’t get carried away and lose track of time while doing things.

“The core symptoms are hyperactivity, impulsivity and attentional difficulties. Symptoms can persist through adulthood and two-thirds of young adults retain at least one symptom of ADHD,” explains Adlin.

Clinical psychologist Adlin Abdul Hamid

She notes that as the disorder progresses, the manner by which symptoms are expressed changes as well – hyperactivity and impulsivity diminish with age, but attentional difficulties persist into adulthood.

“In adults, poor concentration, forgetfulness, organisational skills, problem solving difficulties and the need for immediate gratification are some of the symptoms of ADHD,” says Adlin.

These traits lead to academic underachievement despite most ADDers possessing a high IQ, difficulties making and maintaining friendships and intimate relationships, and more dangerously, novelty-seeking and risk-taking behaviour.

Unlike Amir and Adlin, 19-year-old Thomas (not his real name) was diagnosed as having ADHD in his early teens.

For years he struggled in school, being called “naughty” and “lazy” by teachers, and always punished for disrupting classes as he would often finish his work faster than the other students and subsequently resort to disturbing them to quell his boredom.

His only outlet was sports – he excelled in athletics, winning medals in every event he participated.

“I didn’t have many friends in school. I used to have a lot of outbursts and I guess kids don’t want to hang out with someone who isn’t much fun,” says Thomas, who is on medication and regularly sees a therapist.

Now in his first year at university, his disorder remains a secret to his coursemates and friends, and he admits maintaining a normal demeanour is tough.

“Sometimes I’m moody and grumpy because I really want to be alone,” he says. “But that’s not an acceptable excuse when there are group meetings and outings.”

Both Thomas and Amir need several hours alone in their rooms every day, with absolutely no distractions or interruptions.

“If I don’t have those few hours, I get grumpy,” says Amir.

Workwise, Amir is luckier than Thomas in terms of having to keep to a rigid schedule, as his working hours are flexible and all that matters is that he finishes his work.

Apart from friendships and relationships with co-workers, romantic relationships can be challenging for people with ADHD.

“Girls just think I’m a jerk,” says Amir, who has had several girlfriends in the past. “Sometimes I just don’t feel like seeing them, and they can’t deal with that. It’s not that I don’t like them or enjoy their company, I just can’t make myself do things that I don’t want to do.”

Amir is optimistic about someday having a wife and family, if he meets the right person who can accept him the way he is, but until then, he is pretty happy being alone.

Thomas says he is very shy, and has not yet been able to psych himself up and talk to girls.

“In school I rarely spoke to anyone if they did not speak to me,” he recalls. “But I try very hard to be more sociable now that I’m in university and there are more expectations to live up to.”

Adlin points out that children with ADHD need outlets to channel their high energy levels.

“Nowadays almost every household has a maid, but it is a good idea to get your kids to help around the house from a young age,” she says. “As a child I helped with washing the dishes, washing the car and so on. At school, if the child has finished his or her work, they should be given something else to do after that. Parents and teachers need to give them a lot of activities.”

ADHD is difficult to diagnose, as even teens and young adults have their “good days” and “bad days”. Sometimes they will have no difficulty completing a task, and other days they may struggle for hours, giving up in frustration.

Parents who suspect that their child might have ADHD should get them properly diagnosed, as it is better to start treating and managing the disorder at an early age so that later on, they will be able to cope all by themselves.

While people with ADHD may go through more difficulties adapting to a “normal life”, they are often talented and gifted individuals with skills that surpass the abilities of their peers.

“This is what I call the ‘gift’ of ADHD,” says Adlin.

“The reality of it is, it’s not going to go away, because it is a neuropsychological problem, and not ‘rewireable’. The thing is, there are a lot of talented people out there with ADHD, and if you take the time to get to know yourself and your strengths, you’ll be able to excell in those areas.

“If you know how to manage yourself, you’ll find that being different is not that bad.”

*For information on treatment and diagnosis, head to www.insight-kids.com.