YOU know what the usual problem is when you finally get to meet your idols? You realise that they are not so awesome after all.

However, that sort of means that these people are ordinary folks with flaws just like the rest of us and not the perfect beings we have always imagined them to be. Although, they do have a ton more money than most of us and they’re famous … but ordinary, still.

Last week, I got the chance to see actor Johnny Depp at a press conference for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides in Los Angeles, California.

I have loved Johnny since his 21 Jump Street days (yes, I am that old). He was the guy I wished was my classmate (okay fine, boyfriend); never mind that I attended an all-girls’ school. Decades after the show ended, he’s still as hot as ever – maybe even hotter!

When I watched him in The Tourist on my flight to LA, he got my heart racing again. Of course I ignored the paper-thin plot and focused just on him and Angelina Jolie.

What’s great about Johnny is that he’s not just good-looking, he is also a highly versatile actor and is not afraid of taking on roles that would make him look or sound silly (Ed Wood, Willy Wonka, Captain Jack Sparrow, Mad Hatter).

Johnny wore a hat at the press conference, something he has been doing a lot of these days, but which also kind of makes him a lot hotter. Apart from that, I also noticed that the actor mumbled.

Every time a reporter directed a question to Johnny, he would reply graciously but unfortunately, quite unclearly as well.

The mumbler

There seemed to be about 80 reporters from all over the world in the room, and if they were anything like me, I’m pretty sure they also prayed that they had remembered to press the “Rec” button on their recording device.
But to be fair, though, some of the reporters mumbled even worse than the actor!

They would stand up and say something along the lines of “Blegh, blugh, you, ah, hee, mmm, Pirates, hee, ha?” into the microphone. But bless dear Johnny, as he would always answer these “questions” as if he understood every single word.

Joining Johnny at the press conference were fellow Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides co-stars Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Sam Claflin and Astrid Berges-Frisbey, as well as producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Rob Marshall.

Okay, this is going to sound a little b*tchy, but to all of you who have always thought that Penelope Cruz is the hottest thing on the planet, here’s a newsflash: She looks ordinary off-camera.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that she’s ugly or whatever, but she really is a plain-looking woman. I think more women should meet her in person just so that they stop beating themselves over not looking like Penelope on the cover of some magazine or on the big screen.

Johnny and Penelope in a scene from the movie

I guess air-brushing and good lighting do wonders on a woman’s features …

However, one thing is for sure, though, Penelope has definitely worked hard to get back into shape after just giving birth to a baby boy a few months ago. She has a killer body; there’s no denying that.

I managed to score a roundtable interview with Penelope, alongside a few other reporters. During our session, one reporter asked how motherhood has changed the actress (a question most new mothers find silly – I know because I asked someone that and she just looked at me and said, “That’s a stupid question.”). Penelope said: “I’m going to say that I’m happy, that’s all.”

Her minder who was in the room then warned us to refrain from asking any personal questions and stick only to movie-related questions.

That’s when someone thought it would be nice to ask where Penelope and her husband, actor Javier Bardem, keep their Academy Awards statuettes.
FYI, Penelope’s Oscar is in Spain, but she wouldn’t say where Javier’s is before walking out of the room.

Sharm says: OMG, I hope that I’ll never see Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie in real life ever. I’d die if I discovered that Brad has body odour or that Angie spits when she talks.