By SHARMILA NAIR
alltherage@thestar.com.my

WILL there ever be a week during which we don’t get any celebrity news? Nope, don’t think so. Here’s a round-up of the things that have happened recently in Tinseltown.

Not dating … yet
Bradley Cooper recently broke up with his girlfriend Zoe Saldana and around the same time, Jennifer Lawrence split with her long time boyfie Nicholas Hoult. If they were any other people, it wouldn’t be news; but the fact that Cooper and Lawrence worked together on The Silver Linings Playbook, it means only one thing – they’re dating!

However, Cooper totally shot down the rumours during the Golden Globes when an ET reporter asked him to comment on their relationship status.

“No, my God. No. We’ve done two movies together. If it didn’t happen by now, it’s not going to happen.”

When the reporter insisted on another comment, the movie star declared that their relationship was nothing but platonic.

“First of all, I could be her father. No, I’m kidding. But no, not even close. I love her to death. She’s amazing, but no.”

Sharm says: Let’s hope they don’t end up dating because then the “I could be her father” comment would definitely come back to haunt him.

Just narcissistic
If you’re following Rihanna on Instagram, you’d know that the Bajan singer loves to post photos … of herself. She has actually received some flak for being too self-absorbed but the pop star just brushes it off saying it’s no one’s business what goes up on her account.

“It’s narcissistic, but whatever – everyone does it. I’m capturing personality … Everybody has their thing they like or don’t like to see. It’s all in your head. That’s why people take their own pictures, because it’s difficult for someone else to capture what you seek.”

Sharm says: Yeah, but it’s not cool when RiRi posts pictures of herself smoking marijuana like almost everyday!

Ain’t no Marilyn
Megan Fox doesn’t have that many movies coming out in the near future but that foxy lady sure knows how to stay in the limelight. In her recent interview with Esquire magazine, the new mum spoke about everything from fame to her infamous Marilyn Monroe tattoo.

“I don’t think people understand (about fame). They all think we should shut up and stop complaining because you live in a big house or you drive a Bentley. So your life must be so great. What people don’t realise is that fame, whatever your worst experience in high school, when you were being bullied by those ten kids in high school, fame is that, but on a global scale, where you’re being bullied by millions of people constantly.”

She also talked about why she decided to remove the iconic Monroe tattoo last year. “I started reading about her and realised that her life was incredibly difficult. It’s like when you visualise something for your future. I didn’t want to visualise something so negative … She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay (Lohan). She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable … She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered. I’m not interested in following in those footsteps.”

Sharm says: Megan may not be the most talented actress out there, but it can’t be denied that she’s actually one of the smartest (at least in this case).

New lawyer, old troubles
Everyone’s favourite trouble maker Lindsay Lohan was scheduled to be arraigned in Los Angeles earlier this week for allegedly lying to police after crashing her Porsche last June. Even though she had fired her attorney Shawn Holley, Lilo’s former lawyer appeared on behalf of the actress to plead not guilty to the charges.

According to TMZ, Lohan fired Holley and hired New York attorney Mark Heller to handle her legal problems from now on.

Lohan wasn’t present in court on Monday, and Holley refused to comment on why the actress let her go during a crucial moment in her life. TMZ also reported that Heller is not licensed to practice law in California thus his absence from court on both arraignment days.

Sharm says: Will this Mark Heller fella make any positive difference in LiLo’s life?
Erm … most probably not

She has a what now?
Television just got stupider, folks. Jessica Simpson has a new television series which is apparently inspired by her crazy and wacky life. Ben Silverman, producer of Fashion Star (on which Simpson is a judge), said that “Jessica Simpson is truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops. From running a fashion empire to wrangling her public image as a new mum, we see Jessica’s character approach a variety of ‘everyday’ circumstances that will get audiences laughing out loud.”

Simpson added, “I am so excited to work with Ben again, this time on a scripted comedy. I often find myself thinking that no one could ever make up the things that actually happen in my life — so between the real-life elements and a great team of writers, I think we’ll have people laughing!”

Sharm says: OMG, is anyone even ready for more “chicken or fish”-like arguments on television? I sure am not!