I have known B for seven years now. We’ve been in the same school since kindergarten and we like to spend time together just about everyday. He is my best friend.
Recently, D moved into my neighbourhood, and we all take the same bus to school. I’ve never talked to her for I can see trouble in her eyes.
After a few weeks, B and I became more with D.
But one day, a boy in our bus K told me that B and D had oral sex in the back seat of our bus. I didn’t believe him.
The next day, I was sitting at the back of the bus when while I was minding my own business at the back seat, K and D joined me at the other end. K started fondling B’s body parts as if I wasn’t there.
Soon, B came by and saw what they were doing. D told B to join in, and he did. I was horrified.
We are all just 14, and Dev is 13. I have advised B to stop getting physical with D, but he always replies with a “Like I care?”.
I gave up trying to get him to stop. I’ve been tempted to report them to my discipline teachers but my friends have told me to wait for someone else to do it. This is because if they get expelled from school, they’ll probably come after me.

B’s parents are like family to me, but what will happen if I told them about his activities? Ever since D offered herself to B, he has changed. He doesn’t talk to me much anymore, and he has taken up smoking. What has happened to my former best friend? Why am I too cowardly to report them? And what am I supposed to do? — Iridescent

We should always stand by our friends, in good and bad times.

Su Ann
It is our responsibility to look out for our friends’ best interests, but how do we do that? Should we do our best to shield them from making mistakes? Or should we let them experience the valuable lessons that can only be learnt by making mistakes?
Keep in mind that people are constantly acquiring and trying out new activities or lifestyles to find what suits them best. Some of these new habits might seem shocking to us, but it is important to remember that we do not all share the same moral codes.
The real issue seems to be that B is beginning to keep company that encourages him to make bad decisions. It is not something that B would like to hear, but do get him to see that while it is okay to make mistakes, it is not okay to have friends who are not particularly concerned about his well being.
Right now, B is not keen to listen to you. It is important that you do not let him drift too far away from you. Do what you can to remain close friends with him, even if you don’t agree with he is doing and even if he might resist you.

Be sure to be close by to keep an eye on him and to reach out when he needs help. After all, good friends tell us when we are doing something wrong, and great friends try their best to stop us from making mistakes – but the best of friends are there to help put us back together after we break ourselves.
Rusyan
The teenage years are difficult, and some decisions will be influenced by sexual curiosity. It’s a normal process, but teenagers need guidance and understanding. B has been your best friend for a long time, but it won’t be easy to convince him that what he is doing with D is wrong. B is at the experimental stage, and smoking is part of that.
As a friend, it’s hard to see him go through this but try to guide him. B might pick up more bad habits, or get into trouble. When we do fall, a good friend who is around is essential to support us, and help us learn and move on.
Try talking to D too as she must have other underlying issues to allow boys to touch her, and in public. If you can’t talk to her, get a peer she trusts to talk to her. Perhaps she needs good friends to hang out with and be told that this kind of behaviour isn’t acceptable. We tend to listen more to our friends rather than adults, so it’d be ideal if you can get her friends or a trusted classmate involved.
If peer counselling fails, then tell a counselor. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. You’ve got to take the lead. Take it as your responsibility to help your friends out, even if it means they’ll get into trouble with their parents and the authorities. It’s a big step for you to take, but these are the moments that make us grow.
Your heart is in the right place, so trust yourself. What happens to B and D will depend on their actions, and that’s their call.