Close
Exit

BRANDON Wade started out as a nerd at the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology and never got anywhere beyond his first kiss.

Spurred by his dating failures, he decided to take his mother’s advice and attract girls through his generosity – the monetary kind, of course.

In 2006, the former software engineer took that principle a step further and started SeekingArrangement.com, a dating website that caters specifically to helping sugar daddies and sugar babies meet up. Seeking Arrangement now boasts 3.6 million users and earns Wade a cool US$10 million (RM36 million) a year.

RELATED STORY: Inside the world of Malaysian sugar babies

But along the way, it inevitably courted controversy, with some likening the site’s main function to prostitution.

When Wade was featured on Dr. Phil, he was called an “MIT-educated pimp”, while The New York Times described the site itself as “a down-and-dirty marketplace where older moneyed men and cute young women engage in brutally frank transactions”.

R.AGE managed to talk to Wade about his site, the dynamics of sugar baby-sugar daddy relationships, and also asked straight up: “Is this whole arrangement prostitution?” Here’s what he had to say.

How did you become a sugar daddy?
I vividly remember the day my mother came home with a pair of diamond earrings, and my dad asked her who had bought it for her. She cried and said she bought it herself because he never bought her anything.

Growing up in Singapore, my mother would always tell me when I grow up, I should always spoil my girlfriend or wife or whomever I was dating. She taught me to be a sugar daddy at an early age, because for her, receiving a gift was her language of love. I have been a sugar daddy since then.

What’s it like being in a sugar arrangement?
I have always helped or spoiled my girlfriends and every girl I have ever dated. In addition to buying them gifts, taking them shopping, or paying for trips, I would also pay their rent or expenses. I also played a mentorship role helping many of my ex-girlfriends with their resumes and career advice.

RELATED STORY: Our reporter tried getting a sugar daddy online, and it was surprisingly easy

But what makes my experience as a sugar daddy even better today, is I have learned to discuss expectations up front with my sugar baby (now my wife), so that our relationship is just as much about giving as it is receiving.

What are your thoughts on teenage sugar babies?
The minimum age to use SeekingArrangement.com is 18. I believe that once you are 18 or over, you are an adult and as an adult you should be able to date whoever you want.

However, most teenage sugar babies may be less mature, and as such, I would encourage them not to venture into sugar dating until they understand the lifestyle and how to date safely.

College student sugar babies are becoming increasingly common. Why do you think that’s happening?
There are a few reasons. Firstly, most college students are single and actively dating.

Secondly, the cost of college education continues to increase. As it is, most students will graduate with a large amount of debt that will take years to pay off.

Finally, sugar dating is fast becoming a part of our popular culture (especially in America). When you turn on the television, there are plenty of programmes about housewives with rich husbands, or about dating millionaires.

Do you feel this lifestyle enforces a perception of women as sex objects? Does it push back the fight for gender equality in the workplace?
The cosmetic industry is doing so well primarily because most women want to become more sexually appealing. We are humans after all, and humans are sexual beings and there is nothing wrong with that.

I believe the sugar lifestyle empowers women to become comfortable with their sexuality and to use their good looks to their advantage.
Women may strive to be equal to men in the workplace, but that does not mean they do not also want to be spoiled by a man or to be treated like a lady.

I understand that you are against referring to sugar baby-sugar daddy arrangements as “prostitution”. But do you find it completely inaccurate, or do you get why people would call it that?
My mother told my sister to find herself a man who can take care of her, is educated, successful and wealthy.

What my mother was essentially telling my sister was for her to engage in sugar dating. Would you say my mother’s advice to my sister is for her to be a prostitute? Most certainly not.

Prostitution, the act of receiving money for sex, is not permitted on our website. And even though it is against our rules and terms of use, some people continue to misuse our website for that purpose.

This is the reason why at SeekingArrangement.com, we employ a team of administrator as well as software and policing to kick off over 200 users each day for violating our rules.

  • What goes around comes around

    One day, Wade will have a daughter (or daughters). She will be his pride and joy, the apple of his eye. She will grow up to be beautiful, sexy and attractive. Then one day she will enter the world of sugar dating, and from then on she will no longer be looked upon as a lady to be honored, protected and cherished. Instead, she will be just an object, desired by men with money, used by men, one after another, until she becomes tattered, and then she’ll be discarded just like an old used tissue paper. Hopefully she will have plenty of money by then, because that will be the only thing she’ll be left with – lots of money, but no honour, no dignity, feelings of self worth that are next to none, and loaded with insecurity and self-loathing. Karma bites.

  • Karma is BS…probably invented for poor suckers to sooth them a little. Just like religions…opium for the people.

    If he ever has a doughter she will have enough money of her own to buy her all the boys she likes…

BTW…

A new wave for news

BRATs equips aspiring young journalists with the skills they need to navigate the world of new media.

Read more Like this post0

Maman-mia, maman leaves averted war

The Local Kitchen discovered that while maman leaves can leave a bitter taste in your mouth, cooked right, it’s a culinary delight.

Read more Like this post0

Finding the Orang Asal’s voices

Orang Asal issues are often swept under the carpet, but they’re fighting for media representation and to be heard.

Read more Like this post0

#TeamClarissa: Keeping traditional art alive

#TeamClarissa took a peek into the East Coast’s art culture, and explored its significance to Malaysians.

Read more Like this post0

#TeamClarissa: Moth-ers unite at Genting

#TeamClarissa hit up the Chin Swee Temple in Genting Highlands to look for moths, and they found plenty! Here is what they learnt.

Read more Like this post0

#TeamMayLee: Service with a smile

Working in a restaurant is no easy task, but that does not deter these crew members from proving their mettle, as #TeamMayLee soon found out.

Read more Like this post1

#TeamHansel: Taking a walk on the wild side

This nature guide believes that reptiles and amphibians should be given a second chance. #TeamHansel investigates!

Read more Like this post0

#TeamMayLee: Captivated by coniferous trees

#TeamMayLee did its part to help with coniferous tree-replanting, and also learnt about the trees part in Malaysia’s ecosystem.

Read more Like this post6

#TeamHansel: Housekeeping with the BRATs

#TeamHansel went behind the scenes at Hotel on the Park, Genting, to learn more about the hidden world of housekeeping!

Read more Like this post0

Ingredient of the week: Kepayang

THE kepayang “fruit” or buah keluak is actually the seed of the kepayang tree and has a rich history. Used to make nasi kebuli, a royal dish served to ancient Pahang royalty, it now has a place in Malaysian dishes like the Peranakan specialty, asam pedas keluak. Most kepayang trees are found in Pahang, but […]

Read more Like this post0

Uncovering the forgotten ingredients of Malaysia

Food documentary series The Local Kitchen has one aim: to give our obscure ingredients a chance to shine.

Read more Like this post0

What we learnt at Saya Sayang Saya

Over 1,500 secondary school students raised questions and concerns about sexual violence, online dating, and reproductive health in the nationwide townhalls.

Read more Like this post0
Go top